Pussies Galore: F1′s low-point in Korea

I made the idiotic mistake of waking at 06:45 on Sunday morning, so grabbed a Twinings and whacked the GP on. Like most of you, I was delighted to see the rain pouring from the leaden Korean sky and thought we were in for one the best races of the season.

My first wince came when Charlie Whiting announced the start was going to take place behind the safety car. Pussies, I thought. Then when the ridiculous spectacle begun with 5 or so laps in procession I thought the ‘elf n safety brigade had infected every competitive orifice of humanity. When it was red-flagged, I just lamented getting out of bed…

What was most disappointing was not Mr Whiting putting the kibosh on proceedings; it was the attitude of the drivers. For anyone who romanticises the Prost/Senna era, the radio transmissions between car and pit were embarrassing. The common theme was ‘too much spray’ and ‘I’m aquaplaning’ – I probably wasn’t the only one bellowing ‘man-up!’ at the TV.

Not being an enormous fan of Lewis – ‘I’d like to thank the team, Vodafone McLaren Mercedes, for doing a phenomenal job’ – Hamilton, I was surprised to feel a kinship when he tacitly inferred most of the field were wetties and should get out there and compete. I’m sure Schuey was feeling the same when he was masterfully seeking out grip behind the safety car, though Jonathan Legard felt he was making errors – glad Brundle corrected the dunce.

When the race did finally get underway 55 hours later it didn’t take long for us to discover why Mark Webber shouldn’t be crowned World Champion. I know he’s a genuine, nice Aussie bloke, but dropping it on a wet kerb when you’re leading the championship under no real on-track pressure is not the stuff of a title holder.

I did feel quite sorry for Vettel. It was the third time this year he’d been driving a lights-to-flag victory only for mechanical failure to rob him. He lacks a bit of race craft, sure, but he’s the fastest 1-lapper out there and a bit more deserving than his teammate, who also punted off an in-form Nico Rosberg.

Bunsen was in the heart of the midfield chaos in a race that demonstrated the talent gap between him and Lewis. He can’t drive an imperfect car well, though I do find the radio to his engineer amusing when it’s not going to plan: ‘guys, I’m getting a lot of understeer here’ or my favourite, ‘guys, there’s just no grip’.

When the chequered flag fell, it was Eddie Jordan who made the most sensible comment of the entire broadcast when he said 3 of the 4 best performances were by former champs Alonso, Hamilton and Schumacher; changeable conditions sort the Brendans from the Brendas, I just wish the majority of the grid would either realise they have balls… or go and find some.